Just a cup of coffee

Really all I wanted this week was a cup of coffee.  Amazingly enough, on the first week of school, the very first day actually, we ran out of coffee.  And, I simply didn’t have time to go to the store and get another bag until today.  My husband would make fun of me for this–the “all I want is a cup of coffee.”  And, I surprise myself saying it.

What I was really saying was the I wanted the atmosphere my cup of coffee brings me in the morning.  I wanted to sit down, digest the day, plan my steps, and have the soothing effect of warm liquid in my cup.  I wanted to absorb all the moments that come with the first week of school, all the volunteering, all the requirements, etc.  It just didn’t happen. 

I can feel the building of my anxiety as the week progressed; the slow spiral downward that was sucking me into believing every obsessive thought that managed to run through my head.  And I knew I was contributing to making it worse by not meeting my own need for peace, silence, and a cup of coffee.

It’s so easy to immerse ourselves in the crazy busy-ness that we push off meeting our own needs; in fact, it almost is a form of recognition in itself.  I get the awed comments from other moms, “How do you get it all done?” or “Where did you find time for all that?”, or my ultimate favorite, “You’re a better mom than me because you . .  .”

And in the meantime I’ve managed to ignore God’s call to my soul.  The cry from my heart to sit, spend time with Him in peace and silence.  I’ve replaced the truth of His Word, His image, with the lie of busy-ness.

“Be still and know that I am God.  I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  Ps. 46:10

We cannot praise and lift Him up without first being still.  Digesting His presence, bringing Him glory at the beginning.  How much less my anxiety would be if I would bask in the stillness before immersing in the busy clamor of daily activities.

And I thought it was just a cup of coffee I was missing this week . . .